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MONTREAL (CUP) – Dear Oracle,

My friend goaded me into placing a personals ad on Craigslist — so I did — and I surprisingly got lots of replies from people that all seem really cool. Here’s the kicker, though: I’ve never met any Internet people in “real life” before. Is it weird? What do I do? How do I do it?

Sincerely, Lost In Cyberspace

Dearest Lost,

In a public place. During the day. Don’t take off your pants. Well, okay, the pants are your call — I know many might scoff at this particular precaution — but I will feel much better if I know you aren’t wandering off into the ether to meet a stranger with a clever email voice. If you do decide to pursue one of these seemingly “really cool” people, please tell a friend what you’re planning to do. It doesn’t need to be in a deadly serious way — “Here’s where to look for my corpse” — but you should mention, at least casually, that you’re setting out to meet so-and-so at such-and-such a place.

What are you hoping to get out of any potential encounter? Love, sex, handjobs? Trolling Craigslist for sex tends to be a fairly solitary pursuit, but because it was a friend that originally persuaded you to post the ad (or so you say), I’m guessing that if you’re in it for anything, it’s not all about an Internet-generated sexual opportunity. In that case, keep it casual.

If someone piques your interest, maybe propose you meet at a neighbourhood bar. There’s no reason this has to be uncomfortable — at least not beyond the first five minutes — but a beer or two couldn’t hurt. Take it slow.

And if you wake up behind a dumpster with a tattoo on your forehead and no shoes, my god, am I ever sorry.

The Oracle